


graceland too

by ediscn



Category: GLOW (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:09:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27677186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ediscn/pseuds/ediscn
Summary: it’s new year’s eve and debbie shows up at ruth’s door. based on “graceland too” by phoebe bridgers.
Relationships: Debbie Eagan/Ruth Wilder
Kudos: 10





	graceland too

it's about 10:45 pm when debbie shows up at door, smelling of despair and a bit of tequila. there's a look in her beautiful green eyes, one that says, "i miss you." or at least i think it does, but i know that if it did, she most likely would never tell. or maybe i'm projecting. 

"debbie, hi." i say, my tone giving away my surprise. 

but she doesn't say anything, she just hugs me. i hear her sniffle, so i hesitantly place a hand on her back, running slow, gentle circles. once she collects herself, she pulls away from me. 

"hey, i got us something." she says, reaching into her pocket and pulling our a small ziploc bag of multi-colored pills. 

i feel my eyes go wide, "shit, debbie." 

she laughs softly, "yeah, i know. i just thought it would be fun?" 

"but what about randy?" i ask. 

"oh my god, ruth. what kind of mother do you think i am? he's with mark tonight and tomorrow. that was the deal: i got him christmas, mark gets him new years." she replies, aggravated, "so, you in?" 

i look at her, thinking on it. i recall that when she got high off of cocaine she broke my leg. in her defense, she was really pissed at me, and i can't blame her for that. i just tell myself that this isn't coke and that this time it will be different. besides, if i say no she'll probably leave, and i don't want that. not only do i miss her like crazy, but i don't want her to be alone. 

i take a deep breathe and nod, "yeah, i'm in." 

"thank god. it's fucking freezing out here." 

i mentally curse myself as i realize that she's still standing in my doorway, "shit, i'm sorry!" 

i move out of the way to let her in, receiving a grateful smile from her as she comes in and closes the door. she takes off her jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. 

"okay, where are we doing this?" she asks me. 

"uh...my bedroom works." i say.

"okay, great." she says, walking leading the way to my room. 

she sure does seem eager to do this. i would ask her if everything's okay, but i know that she would never tell me. i feel a tinge of guilt as i wonder if i had hurt her badly when i turned down her offer. 

"ruth, you coming?" she calls from the bedroom, breaking me from my thoughts. 

i nod to myself and go to her, "yeah, yeah i'm here." 

"great." she says with a smile as she begins to open the bag. 

"debs, why ecstasy?" i ask her. 

she stops what she's doing, looks at me for a second, then shrugs, "i don't know, it just seemed fun." 

however, her words didn't fool me. they could never when the look on her face told me otherwise. she wants to be happy. debbie is unhappy, and it's most likely my fault.

so we take the ecstasy and lay on my floor as we wait for the effects to set in. i keep finding myself looking over at her, and each time i did an involuntary smile would spread across my lips. i guess i hadn't realized how much i really missed her. 

once it does finally kick in, the results are slightly disappointing. however, that could be due to the fact that we were just sitting there, spending what's left of our serotonin to chew on our cheeks and stare at the moon. 

"life fucking sucks." she says in a surprisingly cheery tone. 

i sit up, raising an eyebrow at her, "well, you sound content with that." 

she chuckles and shakes her head, "no, you don't get it. i'm saying that because i know i lived through it to get to this moment, and this moment doesn't suck. i feel fucking fantastic right now. i'm spending more time with my son, i'm happy for the first time in months, and now i'm here with you and...i missed you so much, ruth." 

oh my god, she said it. i try my best not to take it to heart too much, knowing it's most likely just the molly talking, but it feels so great to hear her say that. 

"i missed you too, debbie." i say with a smile, "so much." 

her smile drops a bit, "well, my stomach is starting to hurt now, but that's fine. not letting it ruin the moment." 

"wait here, i'll go get you some saltines." i say. 

she nods, staying put as i walk to the kitchen, grab a sleeve of saltines, and hand them to her. 

i sit on the bed, watching as she slowly eats the saltines. she's so beautiful, such a goddess. her blonde hair is pulled up, a few strands hanging down, framing her absolutely perfect face. theres light back in her beautiful green eyes, i just wish so badly that it was genuine. 

in that moment, as i sit on my bed, admiring her as she does something as simple as eating a sleeve of saltines on my floor, i know that i would do anything that she wants me to. 

"i would do anything for you." i accidentally say out loud. 

i speak in a tone that i don't recognize. i don't think e ever spoken such love-filled words to anyone. 

she looks up at me, "what?" 

i've got to do it. i have to be there for her. my life is hell without her, and i can't live like that again. i'll do anything to stay by her side. whatever she wants. 

"i wanna do it. i wanna direct for your tv network. i want to be there for you, debbie, because i have missed you so fucking much, and...whatever you want me to do, i will do." 

"i want you to act for my network." she says. 

"but i thought you said..." 

"yeah, that was a dick move. you deserve to have your dreams come true, ruthie, and i wanna help." 

i just look at her, trying to think of the words i could use to express my gratitude, but instead, i say this, "i love you." 

i expect to have to elaborate, to tell her that i'm in love with her, but the look on her face tells me that she understands. 

she stands up, sets the saltines on my nightstand, and kisses me. much to my surprise, it's a soft, tender kiss. due to the dynamic of our relationship, i always imagined it to be faster, more aggressive. however, this seems much nicer, and between the kiss and the molly in my system, i am filled with emotional warmth. 

she pulls away, looking at the clock, seeing it was a minute after midnight. 

she smiles at me, "happy new years, ruth." 

i smile back, "happy new years, debbie."


End file.
